He’s a DNR agent because he is too unstable to carry a gun.
Here is a strange one. There is a woman who lives in town. She works hard, minds her own business, and drinks enough that she has a noticeable list when she walks home. The operative word here is WALKS. She does herself and the rest of us a favor by not trying to drive. Perfect, right? Well the other night she walked out of the local tavern through the back door and proceeded to wander down the alley towards her home. Out of nowhere comes this big pick up truck towing a boat behind. This nitwit stops, gets out and hollers, “Halt. I am a DNR agent and you are going to detox.” WTF? Now I think that most DNR agents are probably normal guys doing that type of job because they enjoy the outdoors, but there are really frustrated Barney Fife types out there as well who had to settle for a DNR badge because they couldn’t get the real deal police special.
Long story short is that he called the cops with the intent of running this poor gal into the lockup. Fortunately the cop knows this woman. She is a “colorful fixture” about town and keeps it on the down low. The cop does a brief examination and determines that she is not inebriated enough to warrant a trip to spin dry and sends her on her way. Now I don’t know what the cop might have said to secret agent man but what he should have said was, “Barney, I’ll take care of the town, you just make sure the fish are safe.”